The Love Of Money - Episode 293
29-08-25 (20:34)
Then there were all the other possibilities on the horizon
—Astrid, Carla, Camille, Tara… Chloe. There was my
growing contention with Hiro Tanaka. There was the
mystery of Amber Bell. What the fuck was this drive
they were looking for, and why was it so important?
On top of all that, I needed time to heal from a year's
worth of emotional investment in Natalie. If I invited
Danielle into a relationship while in the middle of all
this, I wouldn't be doing her any favors, nor would I be
able to give her the kind of attention she deserved.
Sure, she might claim to be able to handle it… to be
able to cope with anything to be with me, but she
didn't deserve that. On more than one occasion, I'd
confessed that I could fall in love with Danielle Holland,
and if I did that only to break her heart… I didn't know
if I could forgive myself.
"So, that's it, then?" She finally asked as she stared at
me with red-rimmed eyes.
"I mean, given time, maybe, but…" I sighed, feeling the
backs of my own eyes beginning to sting. "I'm sorry."
"I can't just wait indefinitely for you, Marcus."
"I'm not asking you to," I assured her. "If you meet
someone amazing, please go for it. You deserve to be
happy, and I think, at least for now, you might find that
somewhere' else."
Danni sighed and collapsed back in her chair…
reminding me briefly of an upset toddler more than the
composed and graceful woman she usually was. "Fuck,
Marcus. I could be so happy with you."
"I know. Maybe if we'd met a year from now…"
She picked up her purse and rested it on the table in
front of her, holding the top closed in both hands as she
studied it, unable to look at me.
"I… I think I need to go," she said, barely able to choke
out the words. I could tell she really wanted to let loose
and cry. "I don't expect you to—"
"No. I've got this," I said, understanding that she was
talking about paying for the meal.
"Thanks," she said, trying hard to keep herself together.
She gave me the briefest of glances and then stood up,
the chair scraping across the ground, startling me.
I stood up and circled the small table to envelope her in
my arms. She let me, her purse held close to her chest,
almost as if she were using it as a shield to guard her
heart. Then she started to openly weep, pressing her
eyes into my bicep. I stroked her back and just held
her, letting her cry as long as she needed and not
caring at all about onlookers.
Abruptly, she tore free of my grasp and wouldn't look
at me as she whispered, "Thank you."
And then she was gone, leaving me with nothing but a
foul taste in my mouth and a mountain of regret.
I felt like I'd done the right thing and hated myself for
doing it.
Friday, 12:28 pm
The elevator doors opened, and I walked into the living
room feeling like a complete fuck. I'd made Danni cry.
I'd rather kick a puppy down my apartment building's
entire collection of stairs than make Danielle Holland
cry.
The entire way home, I'd debated whether or not I was
making a mistake and had to talk myself out of calling
her more than once. I kept trying to rationalize it;
maybe I was overreacting because Natalie's rejection
was still so fresh, or perhaps I was listening a little too
hard to Helen's advice about remaining single. After all,
Danni had been offering me all the perks and none of
the drawbacks of being in a relationship. How could I
lose?
In the end, I remained strong. Not only was I unsure
that Danni could take the emotional toll a one-sided
open relationship could place on her, but I wasn't sure
she could handle some of the more gruesome aspects
of being in a relationship with me at all. I don't think
the kidnapping and beating had fully registered with
Danielle. She'd seen the bruises and heard some of the
tales, but Danni wasn't fully cognizant of what people
like Roger VanCamp or Hiro Tanaka were capable of.
Even worse… I don't think she fully realized what
people like that could do to her just for being my
girlfriend. Hell… Natalie was probably right in rejecting
me.
No. In the end, it was better this way. If only I didn't
hate myself so much for doing it!
Deciding I needed to make myself feel worse, I decided
to find Emily and check in with her. We'd left things in
a rocky spot, with her wanting to talk to Bobbi, but I
wanted to make sure she and Natashya arrived in one
piece… and perhaps see if she would at least look me
in the eyes. Unfortunately, neither of the girls were in
the room they'd been staying in, although the freshly
mussed comforter and bed sheets were a good sign
that they had survived the journey here. I'd been a
little concerned that VanCamp might have tried to
make a play for them since he'd already tried
kidnapping one of them.
Not finding them, I returned to the main living room
and spotted my study door open. Emily wasn't there,
but Helen and Erin were. My assistant was at my desk
on the phone and flashed me a brilliant smile that
vanished almost as quickly as it appeared when she
saw my face. Helen was sitting in a leather wingback
chair with her nose in a book; her blue eyes glanced
over the top as I entered the rest of the way into the
room.
Erin turned her attention back to the phone. "Hey! Can I
call you back with the rest of the information? Thanks."
She immediately stood up and rounded the desk,
approaching me.
I plopped into another wingback on the opposite side of
a small table in front of Helen and answered the
unasked question. "I rejected her."
"I know," Erin said, sitting across my lap, slipping an
arm around my neck, and cuddling into me. Her head
nestled on my shoulder. The weight of her slight frame
was comforting, and the presence of her flowery scent
was a welcome distraction. I turned my head and
buried my nose into her silver hair, inhaling deeply in
hopes that Erin's smell would replace the gut-wrenching
feelings churning inside me.
Of course, Erin already knew! Danni probably called her
and recounted the entire conversation to her in hi-
definition technicolor and digital Dolby surround.
Women's ability to recall the details of a conversation
was borderline unnatural, where'as I probably couldn't
have recalled more than the most rudimentary
information that would have taken less than a minute
to share.
Helen put the book down on the table between us and
leaned forward. She wore a light pink silk robe that
showed a fair amount of cleavage as it fell away from
her chest, drawing my eye despite how I was feeling.
"Are you okay?"
Erin must have filled her in on where' I was going this
morning. I hadn't told her what I'd decided because I
hadn't been sure until about five seconds before I
rejected her, but the look on my face would have told
the story if Danielle hadn't already texted.
"Like crap," I said as I leaned into the back of the
surprisingly comfortable chair. Erin's soft lips on my
cheek sent a wave of warmth skittering across my
body. Her slender fingers played lightly through my hair
as she pressed her palm into the other side of my face,
drawing me more firmly into the kiss.
I gave them as much of a breakdown of the
conversation as I could remember, which reduced the
forty-five-minute conversation to a minute and a half…
not a minute. I guess I was slightly more enlightened
than my fellow males.
"She left pretty abruptly. I think it's so I wouldn't see
her cry," I said, then corrected myself. "Well… more than
I already had."
"Fuck, Marcus," Erin said. "I'm so sorry."
"You did the right thing," Helen said, which didn't
surprise me in the least. She'd been anti-relationship
since day one.
"Well, the right thing sucks," I sighed.
"Yes, it does," Helen said. She glanced at Erin as if
confirming something and then said. "I think Erin would
agree with me when I say that you showed an
outstanding level of maturity. I haven't exactly kept my
feelings about you being in a relationship a secret, but
that aside, I don't think Danielle is the right person for
you."
"Maybe," I sighed. "I can't believe she offered to put a
collar on for me. What a stupid thing to suggest."
"I can," Erin muttered into my temple. "She was head-
over-heels for you, Marcus. A lot more than she was
letting on."
"Yeah," I said. "All the crying was a good indicator." I
turned my head and looked up at Erin; our faces were
so close that our noses nearly brushed. "Am I right? Do
you think she could have handled sharing me?"
"I don't know," Erin said as her fingers grazed my face.
"I want to say yes, but I could sometimes sense some
jealousy. I'm afraid it might have gotten to her."
"Is this a private party?" A feminine voice with a slight
Eastern European accent said.
With my chair facing away from the entryway, I
couldn't see Natashya, but I called out, "No. Everyone's
welcome to the pity party."
A moment later, the dancer came into view, resting her
hand on the back of my chair as she looked from Erin
to Helen, then settling her mahogany eyes on me. Her
brow immediately furrowed. "Is everything okay?"
"Danni wanted a relationship," Erin said. "Marcus turned
her down."
"Oh," Natashya said, her lips turning down in a slight
frown. "She didn't take it well?"
"No," I said. "She said she was falling in love with me,
so she didn't handle rejection very well." Not wanting
to talk about Danni anymore, I decided to change the
subject. "Where's Emily?"
"Getting lunch," she said.
"Oh," I said, sensing something was up. "By herself?"
"No," she said with an amused little twinkle in her eye.
"With Bobbi."
"Oh," I said, alarm bells going off in my brain. "How
long have they been gone?"
"About an hour," Helen said, studying Natashya. Then
she stood up. "I think I'm going to finish packing for the
weekend. When do we leave?"
"In a little under an hour and a half," Erin said as she
slid free from my embrace and stood up. "I'm going to
go, too. I need to finish packing for both of us," she
said, giving me a sympathetic smile as she ran her
fingers through my hair one last time.
"Oh… thanks," I said. "You don't have to do that."
"I know, but I'm happy to… at least until you fill that
house position."
With that, Helen left with Erin trailing behind her,
brushing Natashya's shoulder with her fingertips as she
passed by. The oversexed bisexuals shared a brief,
heated glance with each other before my assistant
walked away. The dancer watched them until Erin
closed the door. Then she turned, stepped toward the
table in front of me, and gracefully dropped onto its
surface. She stretched out her legs so that her feet
were on either side of mine and pressed her palms into
the glossy wood as she studied me with a sympathetic
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